


Too Young, Too Dumb

by Dizziedesi



Series: Ghost of You x Bellarke [1]
Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: 5sos x Bellarke, Based on a 5 Seconds of Summer Song, Bellamy Blake Loves Clarke Griffin, Bellamy and Clarke break up??, Bellamy is in love with her, Bellamy is sad, Bellarke, Clarke doesn't come back, Clarke leaving, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt Bellamy, Implied Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Listen to Ghost of You while reading, Modern AU, Moving On, Not Happy, POV Bellamy Blake, Sad Bellamy, clarke leaves bellamy, clarke's gone, ghost of you, heartbroken, i got really in my feels, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-13
Packaged: 2019-08-01 07:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16280153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dizziedesi/pseuds/Dizziedesi
Summary: For Jordan, who was obsessed with the idea of a Bellarke x Ghost of You cross over where Bellamy is without Clarke and how perfect the song Ghost of You by 5 Seconds of Summer fit





	Too Young, Too Dumb

Bellamy wasn’t sure how they had gotten to this point, how he had gotten to this point. He felt like he didn’t know anything really, except that she was gone. Clarke was gone. He thought they were going to be together forever, she promised they’d do everything together. She promised. And yet here he was alone; trapped in a house that reminded him of her, of everything they had ever done, and of everything they were going to do. A house that was filled with the ghost of Clarke and everything they were meant to be. He thought about moving, so many times, but in the end, he always stayed because even though she was gone- someday’s it was easy to pretend she was coming back when he still lived in their house.

At first, he waited for her. Every night before he went to bed, and every morning before he left for work. He waited for her to return. Her clothes still littered the floor where she left them, her toothbrush still on the sink, her shampoo, and towel the same as the day she left. He had hoped it was all a bad dream, he hoped she’d come in and tell him it would all be ok, that he would be ok. He hoped. But slowly, that hope was diminishing and all that left was the pain and the anger that he felt at her. She promised a future together and she left and he was mad. He loved her so much, but it wasn’t enough to make her stay. He wasn’t enough to make her stay. He wasn’t enough.

Bellamy wasn’t the same without Clarke, and all of their friends knew it. The first few weeks, everyone rallied to take care of him. They wanted to make sure he was ok, that he knew he wasn’t alone. They wanted to make sure he knew he was loved, but without Clarke, he was a shell of who he used to be. He and Clarke had gone to the bar every Saturday, as a sort of date night but also just to spend time with each other and relax after the work week was over. Bellamy kept that tradition up. He’d order his and Clarkes drinks and then sit at the booth in the corner that no one but he and Clarke sat in, and he’d drink as if she was still there. Sometimes it would be one or two drinks, and other nights Bellamy would try to finish off every drop of alcohol in the bar. Slowly, Bellamy was accepting that she wasn’t coming back; that all he had left was the ghost of who she was and the ghost of the man he was with her.

Eventually, he started getting his life back together. He went back to work, he started going out with the others again, he cleaned up her clothes. That one was the hardest. It took him two hours to clean up her stuff, not because there was a lot of it, but because every item he picked up was Clarke. They still smelt like her, and all of the memories he had of her plagued him. The shirt she stole from him to go to bed in, her painting top, a pair of scrub pants, but the hardest was the Zeppelin shirt he had bought her the first year they were together. The one that she said her dad had owned, the one that she said she’d never leave behind. Every vacation, or weekend getaway that they went on, she made sure she had that shirt with her. It became her safe haven. It made her feel safe and reminded her of times with her dad, and she left it there.

He boxed up all of her stuff, and shoved it into the back of his closet as if removing visible traces of Clarke would get her to stop haunting his dreams, or maybe they were nightmares. Every morning when getting ready for work, he’d have a cup of coffee and sit in silence, thinking- remembering. It was the only time he let himself think of her. After all, she had left him. She didn’t care. But the morning he pulled out her favorite mug was the morning that everything truly caught up with him. He was alone. He was alone and Clarke left and he would never be the same.

He tried dating, he took women out and they’d go to the club. Each girl he took out always tried to get him to dance, to get him out there with them so they could grind against him, maybe get him in the mood enough that he’d ask them on a second date, but Bellamy didn’t dance. Not anymore, not without Clarke. When she left, she took everything from him. It was impossible for him to move on, to try and forget her like she forgot him.

Everything in the world reminded Bellamy of her; the sky reminded him of her eyes. The color red reminded him of the night she caught Finn cheated and she punched him hard enough to leave her knuckles bloody. Bellamy took care of her that night. Grey matched their bed sheets, the ones Clarke insisted they have. Greens and yellows reminded him of the promises she left behind, the ones to start a family with him. The ones where she said she’d be there forever. Bellamy had to move on, had to accept that the only version he had of her now was in his head. He would forever be stuck with the ghost of Clarke Griffin, the girl he loved for too long, while they were too young. The girl who left him.


End file.
